No matter how hard I think, wonder and work things out, I will never know why a jounrey like this didn't go the way I imagined. I haven't blogged in a while, slack of me, but I have been busy, lonely and confused. Don't get me wrong at the same time, I've been finding out things about myself and my personality that I never knew existed and I wouldn't trade this experience for a life time. Things just have not worked out and unfortunatly it's time to move on. You think you know someone but you don't really, you think you know what you want but you really dont. Ever felt this way? It's the way Ive been feeling for the last 3 weeks. I won't lie, things have been tough and making the desicion of coming home is hard but Im not going to live any longer in a place where Im not happy. My last day of working here is today (Friday 30th) it's going to be a sad goodbye to both Hannah and Lilah. Im heading to Niagara falls on Sunday which i'm thrilled about, going with some ladies I met that have really helped me out the last few weeks. I will not be coming back to this family after I go to Niagara falls, I will be staying for three weeks at a friends house and just travelling around. I will be home in three and a half weeks. It's been a great experience, it's been hard and challenging and it's been cut short, but so what? Im happy with how far as a person I have become and all I really want is to be proud of what Ive achieved and I am.
I dont know what's next in life. It's scary.
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Dear Alanah-May, you should be extremely proud of yourself for what you have achieved. You have had an extremely huge 18mths or more, you have grown into a beautiful young woman whom I am sure your lovely Mum is very proud of. I would be. Good luck with the rest of your life and what it holds for you. The world is your oyster. Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteTrudy. xx
Hi Alanah
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm sorry things haven't panned out the way you expected, but hey, that's life. Have fun in the next few weeks and don't be ashamed that the nannying/family didn't work out. What an adventure you've been on and I'm sure it's not your last. Wow, how good will it be to see your family again?
My Kirby is struggling with a flatmate (best friend) that is homesick and not liking the city so 'best laid' plans don't always go the way we think they will.
Chin up and savour your last few weeks "OS" before jetting home to your dear Mum and family.
Cheers - Joolz
You've done so great and I'm sure learnt heaps about yourself! it sounds cheesy, but there's a saying that says: "When God closes a door, He opens another one". If you want to come to New Zealand, you are very welcome to bunk here!
ReplyDeleteKeep writing and we can keep praying for you xxx